2nd OB ultrasound

Dr. Jarrett with Braden and I.

This past Wednesday, December 8th, I had my 2nd ultrasound with Dr. Jarrett. Curtis and Braden came along for this one. Dr. Jarrett did the scan and it was easy to see that the embryo was much larger this time than it was 2 weeks ago. It was no longer just a tiny speck, but a much bigger "blob" with a flickering heartbeat in the middle. We were even able to see it moving a little bit. We again were able to hear the heartbeat as well. Braden kept saying "robot" about the ultrasound machine and then when he heard the heartbeat he said, "Chu Chu Train"--and I guess it did sort of sound like a Chu Chu. So cute. :) Dr. Jarrett said everything looked great and he released me to my OB except for one more blood draw to keep track of my hormone levels. This past week my progesterone was in the high 20's and my estrodiol was now over 1000 so everything is progressing as expected, but I am still on progesterone and estrodiol meds to supplement. My due date according to Dr. Jarrett is July 21st (although I had thought a little sooner, but we'll see what my OB says.)

I asked Dr. Jarrett if we could get a picture of him with Braden and he was more than willing. Braden was a little anxious about being held by him, so we got a picture of Braden with Dr. Jarrett and I. We thanked Dr. Jarrett over and over for all he has done for our family. We feel that he helped create 2 little miracles for us---along with God's gracious hand of course.

We feel blessed more than we deserve, but are thanking God daily for his mercy and grace in providing us with a family.

Just within the past week I've started to notice I'm looking a little bit pregnant. Not that anyone else would probably notice and my clothes are still fitting fine, but if I wear a tight shirt it's slightly noticeable. Here we go again! So excited!

Pictures

Here are the ultrasound pictures I thought I'd share. The pics to the far left are from my most recent ultrasound at 6 weeks. There's not much to see except for a little white blob and the middle picture you can see how the heartbeat was identified and heard with the white lines at the bottom. The bottom picture is of the embryo itself right before the transfer.

We are still trying to absorb the reality of all this....I think that will take awhile! Thanks for sharing in our excitement and for your prayers.!!!

God is so GOOD!

I've had a lot on my mind the past couple months that I've been keeping to myself. So, I have a lot to share.

We decided to go ahead and try our frozen embryo the end of October. Fortunately the prep was a lot less involved with the frozen transfer than with the fresh embryo transfer (like we did with Braden). The worst part is the progesterone injections in the hip that Curtis has to do. I had 2 sets of ultrasounds and blood work one for baseline and a 2nd to make sure my endometrial lining was thickening appropriately (which it was). We scheduled the embryo transfer for October 28th. I also had been doing the acupuncture appointments as before- weekly for about a month leading up to the transfer.

They didn't thaw the embryo until the day of the transfer because it was already a 6 day old blastocyst which basically needs to be transferred right away after thawing. We were told the thaw success rate was 50%. So, we were preparing to do all this prep work and get to the morning of the transfer and have the embryo not survive and all would be for naught. But, with much prayer, it survived the thaw!!! Unfortunately the biologists couldn't "grade" the embryo because the cells were still very compacted from the freezing process. But, at the time it was frozen, it was a 3AA which is very good. So, we showed up for the transfer the morning of October 28th having just had an acupuncture appointment. I took my valium in the parking lot so by the time they called me back I was feeling like I'd had a couple glasses of wine- very relaxed. The actual transfer was quite simple. It was ultrasound guided and the biologist loaded the embryo into the catheter, gave it to Dr. Jarrett who then placed the embryo in my uterus. Afterward, they just had me lay still for 10 minutes and then I was free to get up and get dressed and leave. That day and the next were then supposed to be "bed rest" days. Curtis kept Braden downstairs most of the rest of that day while I hung out in my bedroom. The next day Braden went to the sitters, Curtis went to work and I had a lovely day of sleeping in, reading, watching movies etc. It was fabulous!!! I think I need to schedule a day like this once a year! It was so refreshing. Then the next day it was back to life as usual. And beginning the long, very long 2 week wait. My blood test for the pregnancy test was scheduled for Weds, November 10th. Last time with Braden I began to feel some pregnancy like symptoms the weekend before the blood test including swollen, sore breasts. This time I wasn't feeling anything. Maybe a little more tired, but thought it was nothing remarkable. So, Curtis and I were just sure this pregnancy test was going to be negative. We've been doing a lot of praying and soul searching and knowing that God is in control and that he could do anything if he so chose. We knew the odds of success were low. Typically the odds for a frozen embryo transfer are about 25-30% and usually 2-3 are chosen to transfer, but we only had 1 to chose from. We kept praying, but inside didn't feel very positive about it. Well, to both of our shock and disbelief my first blood test came back POSITIVE!!! My HCG level was 912!!! It was only 200 something with Braden! I then came back 2 days later for a repeat test expecting the level to double, which it did and more. On November 12th I went back for more blood work and they called that afternoon that the HCG levels had gone up to 2092! We were still shocked beyond words and praising God for his grace and mercy. But the fear wasn't over yet. I was scheduled for an OB ultrasound today to make sure everything looked OK. We've been so nervous wanting to make sure there was a baby there with a heartbeat and all. Dr. Jarrett did the ultrasound today and was quick to point out a perfect gestational sac, yolk sac and a fetus with a heartbeat!!!! We were even able to hear the heartbeat. So we can finally breath a sigh of relief and let it settle in that I actually am PREGNANT! I've been reluctant to post anything on my blog this time, just not wanting to get ours or anyone else's hopes up if it didn't work out. At least now I feel much more comfortable sharing our news, although still won't tell the general pubic for another month or so.

We feel blessed beyond words that this has actually worked!!! We feel that God has been incredibly merciful to us in allowing us to get pregnant with this frozen embryo which has cost us about $3500 compared to the shared risk plan we did with Braden and likely would have done again had this not worked which is more than $20,000. But to do that again would have been an incredibly huge financial burden with my working part-time now. Curtis especially was stressed about that. Also, we no longer have any frozen embryos so we don't have to deal with the ethical decision about what to do with that. We feel like we can make a clean cut and are so excited to put this whole fertility journey behind us. Beyond excited.

One interesting fact about all this is that this baby was actually conceived before Braden with our first IVF cycle. We'll explain that to them when they're about 18. :)

TO GOD BE THE GLORY GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE!!

21 months

Dalmation puppy Braden with his Princess, Chloe
Peak-A-Boo!

Braden with his cousin, Megan

Family photo at the pumpkin patch

Picking the perfect pumpkin

Braden continues to become such a big boy. Halloween was definitely more interesting to him this year than it was last year. Carving pumpkins was exciting for a moment, but he lost interest quickly. He did have fun picking out pumpkins with his cousins at the Beasley's Orchard pumpkin patch. The Halloween costume took some serious bribbing. Intitally when trying on his "Puppy Suit" he would say "OFF" and pull at it and whine about it. We had to eventually bribe him with candy to wear it. On the evening of Trick-O-Treating, he had no problem putting on his Puppy Suit. :)

Our biannual cabin trip this year was to Camp Amigo in Sturgis, MI. We had a good time as a family taking a pontune ride, hiking around, playing in the gym, eating good food and enjoying being together.

Braden continues to try to be more and more independent. He wants to TRY to put his own shoes on, pull his pants up and even feed himself. Sometimes he does a great job, but when he needs help he is resistant to it. The "Terrible Twos" are fast approaching. He does, however, have a very sweet heart and often obedient when asked to help with something (ie. pick up his toys etc.) The teeth brushing issue has gotten a lot better lately. When threatened with a spanking, he has behaved quite nicely without even fighting it. It used to be that he and I would have a nightly quarrel over teeth brushing. It was been such a refreshing change to have him cooperate.

His speech continues to take off. He amazes me daily with how much he can say. He routinely is putting together 2-3 word sentences such as...."Mommy, sit you"- meaning, Mommy, sit by me(you), also, "More milk please" etc. Language acquisition is so amazing to me and how they just pick it up without having to be taught much.

I've pondered whether or not to put him in pre-school next fall. I'm still debating. I'm positive that he would be ready intellectually and socially. My concern is MY spending time with him. I would be working Tues/Thurs and he would go to pre-school on Mon/Weds from 9-1. So on those days I would bring him home and put him straight to bed for a nap. So essentially I wouldn't be with him 4 days out of the week. Now I know those that work full-time do this routinely. But I wonder if I were to start this schedule, my part-time working wouldn't be worth it in getting to spend time with Braden. The jury is still out, but I may be waiting another year until he'll be 3 1/2. He would still spend 2 years in pre-school before starting kindergarten which surely would be enough. I'd be interested in hearing anyone elses thoughts on this matter.

We are eager for Thanksgiving next week and spending time with family and Thanking God for his Many Many Many blessings. May you all have a blessed week.

19 months

Braden and Daddy at Li'l Kickers
Braden lined up all his critters for a picture. :)

Family vacation to Warren Dunes- Braden's first time at the beach!

Every 2 months is about as often as I seem to keep up with this blog. Time just seems to get away and Braden keeps getting bigger all the time.

Braden's speech is really beginning to take off. He talks quite well and even starting to speak in some sentences. He'll say, "Daddy, where are you?" for example. And he is gradually replacing more and more of his signing with words. It's neat to see him want to learn more all the time. When we read books, he'll point to the things he knows and tell me what they are and if there is something he doesn't know, he'll point and grunt, like "I want to know what that is". Often when we're all in the car, Braden will say, "Mommy.....tree" and point out a tree outside. Which is very cute, but he'll do it like 20 times. :)

Physically he also is taking off. He can run, at times really fast. Especially if I'm trying to get him to do something he doesn't want to do. And, his newest thing is that he'll lay down and hide his face and think that I can't see him. It's hilarious! He can do the stairs both up and down with only one hand hold. Sometimes he'll hold onto the wall too, but not always. We've signed Braden up for "Li'l Kickers" which is a soccer/gross motor activity group for kids 18mos-24mos. It's every Saturday for 12 weeks. So far he's gone twice and loves to run around and throw the balls and sometimes kick them. He's learning how to sit still and listen to an instructor. By the end of the 45 minutes he's tired and not wanting to participate anymore. I know it's the age and I wouldn't expect anything else, but it's all good for him to start to learn how to behave in a group/class setting and also just to burn off some energy. Which for boys...is a necessary thing!!

We've also recently weaned him off the binky except for naps, bedtime and car rides. It actually went surprisingly well with only a few meltdowns. He still asks for it occasionally during the days, but I can usually distract him from it.

I am seeing several friends having babies again with little ones Braden's age. And, although I would like a 2nd a some point. . . .I'm very much enjoying what we have right now. It would be tough to manage a newborn and Braden, I think. One day, hopefully.:)

17 months

Braden is so excited about playing in puddles!
His new splash toy----somehow he thinks the flowers are hats. Silly boy!

Braden's Hand-Foot-Mouth pic. Poor baby!

Playing in his Dino pool which he thought looked like a horsey and would say "Neigh" everytime he saw it. :)

Cute boy in the flowers.

It becomes more and more evident that Braden is no longer my "baby", but very much a busy, curious toddler. Every day is a new challenge, but also a new joy.

Physically, Braden can run quite well, even do a lateral shuffle and even able to jump two footed off the floor. He is quite proficient at crawling up the stairs and now will scoot down the stairs forward on his bottom. He weighs roughly 21 pounds and now has well. . lots of teeth. He has his first molars on the top and bottom and most of the teeth in between.

May was a rough month for us health-wise. All three of us were sick most of the month and to finish it out, Braden came down with Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease over Memoral Weekend. That consisted of a fever up to 103, vomited once (while out to dinner at Chick-fil-A of course. . . ) and then came down with an awful blistery rash on this hands and feet, thankfully not much in the mouth and was miserably itchy. So, any attempts at bottle weaning were lost that week, but all is well now, thankfully.

And, I'm happy to say that as of this week, Braden is officially weaned from the bottle! It took us a while, but I made it a gradual process and he took to it quite well.

Regarding his communication, Braden can say so many words now that I almost lose track with how many. Lets see how many I can list:

Mommy, Daddy, puppy, love you (seriously the cutest thing I've ever heard!!) cracker, cookie, Hi, Bye-Bye, nigh-nigh, water, flower, milk (he says as "mo", juice, apple, grape, binky (he says, "mi-mi"), all done, outside, ta-dah! (so cute!), head, toes, truck, movie and one of his newest words----obey! (Hilarious!) and of course animal noises----mooo, neigh, quack-quack, rough-rough, tweet-tweet, ooo-ooo-ahh-ahh (monkey), bak-bak (chicken). I think that about covers it. He is still doing well with signing. He does say thank you now, but instead of being a hand to the mouth, he does the hand to the ear. I should correct him, but it's so darn cute.

We are into the world of discipline now with words like "obey Mommy" which is obviously where he has picked that up. :) I just finished the book, Sheparding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. Before reading this book, I thought spankings were probably a good idea, but that time outs seemed better depending on what worked for the child. After reading the book and discussing what scripture commands, I have been convicted that spankings are the biblically correct way to discipline. Numerous times God calls parents to use the "rod" to keep your child from death. Proverbs 23: 13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod he will not die. If you strike him with the rod you will save his soul from Sheol. So, trying to follow God's commands were are embarking on disciplining with the "rod" for disobedience to shepard his heart into obeying God by obeying his parents. I believe now that spankings done correctly are a good and Godly thing. Done wrong, borders on child-abuse.

What a blessing Braden is! Everyday I thank God for him. May he grant us mercy with a 2nd child, but even if not, I couldn't ask for more.

15 months

Braden continues to get more and more active. This boy never sits still for 2 seconds unless he is sleeping or restrained in his high chair or car seat. He is fun, but certainly can wear me out quick! He's now running and almost able to jump two-footed from the floor. He can easily crawl up the whole flight of stairs (supervised of course :) ) and just last weekend learned how to climb down backward.

His vocabulary is beginning to increase as well, adding a new word every few days. His current vocabulary consists of: Mom, Daddy, Papa, Hi, Cracker, Go Go (said to anything with wheels- - - and the bigger the truck the more excited he gets!), Truck, Clock, Flower, Wow, Ewww :o), Yay, and Cookie. And, he can do sign language for Please, More, Drink, All Done and he's almost got Thank You. The amount that he understands is impressive. The other day I asked him to go to the laundry room and bring me his shoes so we could go bye-bye. He abandoned his truck and went in the laundry room and came out with a shoe. I was amazed.

Eating is a challenge with Braden. He seems to be a picky eater and struggles to successfully chew up any kind of meat. Protein comes mostly from milk/yogurt/cheese and occasionally I can get him to eat a hard-boiled egg with shredded cheese or bits of hot dog. And veggies. . . forget it. . . he won't eat "real"veggies. They only way I can get him to eat them is with pureed baby food and kind of trick him by alternating it with bites of something he likes. At his 15 month check up he weighed 20.6 lbs, 30 inches long. So, he is still hanging on around the 5-10% which is where he's always been. Lately he's been dealing with a cold, but my plan is to officially begin the bottle weaning within the next 1-2 weeks once the cold is gone. I know it will be a hard transition and we may go days without drinking milk. . . . but we've got to do it at some point. Wish us luck!

We are looking forward to this summer with Braden with being able to go to the park and zoo etc and just enjoy time as a family. He is such a joy and I am so glad that I get to be home with him part time. At times I think I'm overprotective and baby him compared to other mom's with kids his age. . . but I don't care. He's my first (and maybe only) and we went through a lot to have him. Well, that's the latest from us 'til next time.

13 months

1 year family pic
Braden's "screaming" face. I couldn't resist- he cracks me up!

Big boy walking :)

The big 1 year birthday party

Happy Birthday Braden!

I figured it's about time for another update. Braden continues to change so quickly. What was cautious toddling steps a month and a half ago is now nearly running. Walking is definitely his preferred mode of transportation and will crawl only when trying to fit in tight spaces. He also has learned how to throw a ball (and at times other things. . . . ) quite well overhand. I'm fairly certain he is ahead in this skill as overhand ball throwing isn't usually seen until 18 months. And, he also can kick a soccer ball by walking/running and kicking the ball as he is going. As you can imagine, Daddy is quite proud and the two of them dribble the soccer ball all around the kitchen. :) He can also say a few words- Mama, Daddy, "hi"- his most common word, and he can answer the question of what does the sheep say?- "Baaa" and with prompting. . .what does the puppy say? "Ruff ruff ruff". Recently he is starting to learn some sign language and has been able to do the sign for "All Done". We are still working on More, Please, and Drink and hope he'll eventually get it. The biggest challenge for Braden right now is with eating. Most kids his age are eating an increasing amount of table food. Braden is such a gagger that he struggles with textured food and after a few bites and a few gags, will then refuse it all together. As far as "Big Boy" foods, he can eat Cheerios, munch on a Ritz cracker, gnaw on a slice of apple and eat a few other fruits in his Nuby mesh food strainer. I know some other kids his age eating chicken nuggets, bites of hot dog, slices of cheese. . . . oh well. . . . I guess we'll get there eventually, but this Mommy is a little impatient to stop buying baby food. Braden is still drinking his milk from a bottle. I know, I know. . . all the "experts" on babies will tell you they should be weaned from the bottle by 1 year. I have tried a few times, although not that hard. I've tried to give him milk in a sippy cup and he wants nothing to do with it. He'll drink water or juice out of a sippy cup, but he thinks milk in a sippy cup should be against the law and after 1-2 sips will quickly push it away. Part of me doesn't want my "Baby" to grow up, so I've not been pushing the bottle weaning. I figure I'll give him another month or 2 and then try to push it. Most likely we'll just have to go cold turkey and only let him have the sippy cup and either he'll drink it or he won't and we'll have to get his dairy in him another way.

More and more I'm hearing of friends who have babies Braden's age pregnant with their next. Even though I'm not ready to be pregnant again yet. . . . . it still pains a little bit. I wonder if that will ever go away even when we're done having babies. I guess it's just the injustice of their being able to conceive so easily, seemingly whenever they want. But......then that is tempered by other friends who are currently on the same infertility journey we were on 2 years ago wondering if they will ever have a child at all. I must then sit back and count my blessings over and over and over. Braden is such a perfect gift from God and even if he never blesses us with any other children, I'm overjoyed with being able to have him.

I have started on birth control pills to try to keep the endometriosis under control by being on a continuous dose so that I never have a period. We hope to try our one frozen embryo this summer and are already praying for God's hand in that process. He knows the future of our family.

Where does the time go?

Christmas morning
Family Christmas picture

Braden's first experience with snow. Don't you just love the coat and hat? :)

Braden is now 2 weeks away from his 1st birthday! I can't believe it! My little bitty baby has and is turning into a little toddling boy. In fact, yesterday he took his first few steps on his own! Of course he was at my sister's and I missed it, but he did take a few more steps later in the evening. I'm sure it won't be long before he's walking comfortably and then on to running. Fun Fun! Also, another fun thing he's learned to do is drink out of a straw. We tried it kind of by accident when we went out to lunch last Sunday. I'd forgotten his sippy cup so I let him try to drink water out of my straw and he quickly figured it out! One of our recent behavior challenges is his learning to scream. He screams when he's excited and when he's mad/frustrated. We're trying to correct it with stern "NO's" and flicks of cheeks sometimes. As his personality develops he seems to be somewhat of a strong willed child. He certainly knows what he wants and not much will deter him from it. I'm sure there can be pros and cons to this, but we pray that we can nurture him into a determined, but obedient child. We also are winding down on breastfeeding. Braden his made it quite clear that he was done with nursing during the day time and within the past couple weeks, also does not want it before bed. In fact, he doesn't want ANY milk before bed and will now sleep through the night without it. Our last bit of breastfeeding we (I) are holding onto is first thing in the morning which also is quickly dwindling as he has little patience to lie down to nurse, but wants to be going, seeing what's going on the world. Such a busy little boy! It is a little sentimental for me to gradually give up the breastfeeding. It's certainly had it's ups and downs over the past year, but all in all, a very rewarding experience with some very sweet moments. I've felt like I've given Braden the best head start I could with his nutrition. And, having to buy formula the past month-----I am SOOOO glad we've not had to do that much. Sheesh it's expensive. Baby food is expensive enough! Our grocery bill has gone up quite a bit in the past 6 months!

We have also recently been talking about baby #2. It's exciting, but very scary at the same time to consider going through the nightmare of IVF again! But, unless God does a miracle (which he could do, but we're not betting on anything!) we'll have to pursue the rigors of medical technology for a 2nd child. We do have one frozen embryo which we will probably try within the next year and beyond that. . . we'll see. We would have to take some time to save up money for another round of IVF since I am working only part-time right now. But, we pray for God's blessing and His will to be done in the next phase of our lives as well. Braden was perfectly planned and made by God's hand and we know his plans are perfect.